Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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