will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize