He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
