OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
