is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
