You can't motorboat a personality
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
