If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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