Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize