Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i now understand why vodka
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
