I didn't shave. On purpose
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You're like the curious george of whores
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
