Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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