last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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