i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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