if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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