Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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