My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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