Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize