i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
