What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
