Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
