please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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