that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
