if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
