that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
