what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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