I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
This toilet bowl is my home.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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