If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
