so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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