kristin has been a bad kristin
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
