hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
