it hurts more in the daytime
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
