he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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