I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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