Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize