I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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