I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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