I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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