kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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