My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize