I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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