Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
