I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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