I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
