i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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