U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
