he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
