my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
