The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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