Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
