For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
These tits shall not be calmed
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