I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
