i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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