What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
