Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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