So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
