He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
