i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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