the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
