There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
