my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize