Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
