Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
