Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
