I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
