if i can run in heels then i can drive
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize