Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My first STD was from a foam party
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize