After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
