My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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