She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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