So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Its about making memories worth repressing
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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