wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
