a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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