Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
