he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
