NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
