high people should be assigned attendants
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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