not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
