I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
