I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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